A place to breathe….

Ang dami kong gustong isulat, kailangang isulat na ngayon bago pa mawala sa isip ko.

Seth
Inggit ako, uwi sya today. I know I’ve just been home a few months ago pero if I can I want to go home every quarter hehehhehehe. But thinking about it, di pa ako handang umuwi for good. I still have plans na di pa tapos, some unfinished business dito at sa pinas. Siguro it will come, yung feeling that I’m ready to go back but now I just want to “VISIT”  every now and then.

Been good
I’ve been so good this week. Followed the rules by the book and sure benefitted from it. Last night for the first time, I felt it on my clothes. The shirt that I love doesn’t stick to my skin anymore, there’s a ” room” to breath hehehhehe. I”m definitely going to continue till I achieve what I want and yesterday didn’t exist =) I had two slices of cake, 2 samosa, 1 cookie, fries and eat all you can gambas agogo. When I hit the scale today, it’s not so bad at all so no more cheating for me…

Guilty
Nitong mga nakaraang araw at linggo, masyado akong nakafocus sa sarili ko. Ano kailangan ko, pano ko mapapabuti ang sitwasyon at buhay ko. Masyadong occupied about “ME” na nakalimutan ko na ung ibang tao sa paligid ko. Nakikita ko at nakakausap mga kapamilya ko at  kaibigan ko pero not really sure what’s going on in there or I didn’t bother at all. Nakalimutan ko, kailangan din pla nila ako.

Reflection
Kahapon umattend ako ng children’s bday party. Sa totoo lang super ako nagenjoy. Nakakalungkot lang kasi the kids were trying to talk to me pero konti lang naiintindihan ko. AT ang bibilis pang magsalita =) they were so cute, so full of energy and so fun. Napagisip tuloy ako, anong klaseng anak magkakaroon ako when finally I have my own. Anong klaseng magulang ako magiging… Excited ako what the future holds for me. Sana meron din libro on how to live your life, i know it will be less fun but if it can make you do things and know the result maybe i will try it, just maybe…  May nakita ako don, kids of interracial. Ang cute nung black baby boy kaso ayaw sumama sa akin. I was picturing myself, hahhahaaha… Well wala nman masamang magday dream paminsan-minsan noh… pero one thing I realized, it’s not yet for me. Maybe I want it but not now…

Now I have to start moving my ass and do some home cleaning. I might swim later or go biking, depends on the mood.. ONe thing for sure, I feel so relaxed and happy this weekend…

For more than 3 years I have been eating breakfast, lunch and dinner outside. Outside means cafeteria and restaurants. And no, it didn’t occur to me to actually try other means. I always justify this by saying that it will be more expensive if I start preparing food at home and I don’t have the time.

A few weeks ago, I started bringing food for breakfast and lunch at the office. I sometimes do a grocery for breakfast like youghurt and bananas. For lunch, now I bring my packed lunch. I’m amazed on how less I spend and how less I use my wallet these days =)

It’s not true that I don’t have the time to prepare my food, it’s just that I never devoted time to do it. Before I was always out doing unnecessary things outside while what I should be doing is relaxing at home and attending to my needs. Rescent realization of this is when I got sick again. I always feel tired because I always stay late and out. After hospitalization I decided I will try to live a healthy life so voila!

And the best thing about is that because I bring my lunch at the office, I have now more time to do some readings. I miss my books and I miss all the updates of the world. So now, I’m very much informed of what’s going around me. But don’t take me wrong, I still go out once in a while with friends and officemates but I try to limit it now unlike before that is almost everyday… So far I’m liking the change!