A place to breathe….

hmmmm… I received an email from Glocals which is an expat online community in Switzerland. The email is about highlighting the latest on the website and I saw the headlines about an article featuring YouMeCo. I’ve met her on the Bellinzona trip last Feb 3, 2008. One thing that captured my attention was her message, Live life passionately.

I was about to go to the shower and get ready for an early night before I read the article and of course I have to postpone my shower and update again my blog.

What do we exactly mean by Live life passionately?! Does it mean leaving at the edge? maximizing time? have fun on every possible way? go out like crazy? shop like an addict? travel the world?

I don’t think there will be synonymous answer to this. Live passionately will always be interpreted differently by different people simply because different people values different things.

I wouldn’t even try to rationalize with others, I just want to rethink out loud by writing on what are the things that I’m passionate about and here’s what comes to mind right now:

1. My relationships - outside I’m a very active person, talking to almost everybody and laughing my heart out even on simple things but liking somebody doesn’t come naturally to me, it needs chemistry even for friendships.

I only allow a few people into my life not because I don’t want  to but it’s just so hard for me to like a person whether romantically or for friendship but if I do i’ll give time, effort and anything just to make that person happy even for just a while.

2. My work - I love my work and I have no issues sleeping in the office if I have to just to finish something even for a week (we have a steady supply of coffee and red bull in the office). I love performance appraisals where you’ll be assess according to your work, I love to know how i’m doing and where to improve. I want to climb up the ladder, I want to be up there.

And of course….

3. My parents and my family - i grew up in a very close family. My dad wasn’t around when we were growing up because he was working overseas but despite the distance I never felt he was not with us but my mom was great taking care of us. Right now I would give anything to make them happy. It always makes me smile that even if I’m too far we still talk like crazy. I call them when I needed guidance at work, money matters or if I want to share with them some great news. There’s only one thing I can’t share with them: I can’t discuss my relationships with them. Hahhahaha they might be shocked!

They will always be my strength. And of all the people in my family it’s actually my mom that I wanted to please most. My ultimate dream is that time will come that she will not ask me for anything because she has everything already. I love you ma and tay! I will always be here….

The rest of the things/ people in the world are nice to have but not must to have.

After 48 years (an expression for very long) my vacation leave has been approved. I originally asked for one month, it was reduced to two weeks. I know I was pushing all my luck for the one month, I’m actually already thankful for the two weeks. It’s a crucial time for our department so I’m just thankful that I can get off for two weeks.

It’s perfect timing… My energy level is heating rock bottom and I needed to go home to recharge, relax and have fun so I can come back full of spirit again. Some friends suggested traveling on some other parts of the world but for me vacation does not literally means visiting places but it only means being home with the people that truly matters.

I can’t wait to reclaim my place in our home and in the lives of the people that I love where I really belong. I just broke the news to my parents today and my siblings. Archie already knows as early as January about the vacation plans. My parents were very happy and excited and it makes me glad that I actually felt how happy they were just on the tone of their voice.

I have no grand plans, I just wanted to be under the sun, relaxing at the beach, watching late movies with my parents and archie, seeing vincent, roaming around with kuya and ate,  pigging out, sleeping in my room, watching Tagalog shows, knowing what’s going on in the Philippines, hopefully seeing friends. Just thinking about it already makes me feel so excited.

It’s still one more month but who cares, I’m already looking forward to it. Pinas here I come!!!

After a week I’m not that upset anymore about what happened. I was avoiding his calls in the office for the past week, knowing he will invite me for lunch or to meet up.

Today he gave me a ring and I decided to pick it up. I agreed for lunch only in one condition, I will have to spunk him first. And he asked why.

When we were at the parking lot, he apologized. He already knew why I wanted to spunk him and this was the conversation:

Him: I am surprised you wanted to take the bus instead of me bringing you home.
Me: You told me to take the bus.
Him: But I was only joking and I was shocked that you are really taking it.
Me: It shouldn’t have even crossed your mind to joke about it. And you should have insisted.
Him: Yah I know and I’m really sorry.
Me: I hate you so much. I told my dad and archie about it and they call you stupid.
Him: Can I buy you lunch?
Me: Not interested, next time do not do that to anybody.

We had our lunch after this discussion. It was back to normal, talking about everything and updating each other about what’s up and what’s not in our lives.

The word Yoga is derived from the Sankskrit word "Yuj" which means to join or unite. Born in India almost 26,000 years ago, one of the most interesting discovery from India of course aside from Kama Sutra.

Studies prove a lot of benefits can be derived from doing Yoga and some of which are the following:
a. flexibility
b. massage of internal organs - what?! how?!
c. relaxation
d. toxification
e. decreases possibility of heart disease

If you check on the net, the benefits are endless but forget about the books and let me tell you my personal experience about yoga.

Make sure that when you start it continue it otherwise when you go back to your yoga class every part of your body will hurt. You only do stances but the effect is more than doing weights! On my first day, I had a hard time walking the next day.

I always wonder why Yoga always makes you want to fart =) hehehhee my classmates are very discreet but for myself it’s so hard to control it hehehhehehee but haven’t farted in class yet always after. See it’s a good sign and we should add to the benefits of yoga: it makes you fart =)

Seriously I don’t give a damn to all the benefits of yoga because the only reason I do it is it really makes you feel relaxed after. It’s the sense of nothingness, everything is just floating and you just want to doze off to sleep. After relaxation time on our yoga class I really don’t want to get up. If i can just stay there and sleep, I would have doze off already.

I need it especially after a very stressful and tiring day at the office, it helps me unload all my thoughts and care about nothing at all. It’s a borrowed peace for me. For 1.5 hours it empties your mind of worries, stress and all thoughts…

You should try it and see the benefits it can do for you.

You must read the blog very canadian before reading this.

Because of the famous line Very Canadian in our office I started to use the line very antonio to mock a friend. For the two of us very canadian = very antonio.

That statement is not actually true, he is the contrary of ungentleman.

I’ve met this new friend 3 months ago. We almost have the same situation in life: single with gf/bf on another part of the world, moved from home country to geneva, living alone and dying for some company.

There are just friends who easily clicked and the day i went out with him, i instantly knew we were destined to be friends.

We sit across each other in the office and the place seems so boring when he is not there. We usually exchange weird glances that I think is freaking out some of our office mates, we will whispher to each other at the middle of working hours only to exchange gossips, we throw candies at each other to grab the other’s immediate attention. These are just some of the weird things we do in the office.

Our life together goes beyond office hours. We usually eat dinner together during our free nights. We sometimes meet after my yoga or his French class in Moevenpick to grab some ice cream or eat dinner. He was there when I just needed to whine about how much I miss home and archie or just wanted somebody to be there. I don’t know why but I feel closer to him compared to my other friends.

I was feeling so bad a while ago but remembering what he recently told me over the phone made me feel so good….

Phone Conversation:
Me: why were you so upset?
Antonio - you should have seen your face during lunch
Me - why?
Antonio - you look so bored, so not there
Me - i just don’t want to talk, i have nothing to say or maybe i just got tired of hearing myself whine all the time.
Me - so is that why you are upset?
Antonio - I felt that I wasn’t so interesting for you anymore, I can’t make you laugh anymore. I bored you.

Isn’t it nice to know that somebody is upset because they can’t make you happy?!

To all Canadians, I have nothing personal against Canadians I will just use the famous line "very canadian" that is frequently used in our office which means very ungentleman.

We have two main offices located in Montreal, Canada and Geneva, Switzerland. People often travel between these two offices, one of which is a swiss italian girl who moved to montreal from geneva for one year. She was telling us how ungentleman guys are in Montreal so that was the start of this famous phrase in our office. I don’t have a personal say on this because I haven’t met any Canadian guy nor I have been to Canada.

Have you ever dumped a friend because he is Very Canadian?
I went to movies tonight with a friend. he picked me up from my house. Movie was at 10 and ended 12. He has a car and the cinema that we went to was very near his house, is this reason enough to let me go home on a bus at 12?

I was so upset. I am his friend (or maybe only from my end) and if i have a car and he doesn’t i will bring him home even he is a guy because it will only take me a few minutes to bring him home and my life will never be incomplete if i spent those few minutes driving him home.

I cried when I reached home via a taxi, not because of the whole incident but maybe because I am missing the way I am treated back home. My friends don’t have cars when i left manila but what i remember is we will make sure everybody gets home safely and after a very late night out we will sms each other when we reach home just to let the everybody else know we arrived safely.

Am I asking for too much?! Yes maybe but I really don’t care if it’s too much or not what I know is that I don’t want to be treated like that.

So did I tell this guy friend of mine how I felt? Yes I did and his reply was hehehhee okay.

So have you heard about dumping a friend? Well I will not literally break up with him (hehhehehe) but I don’t think I want to continue hanging out with him.

We always have choice, for this instance: I choose to be not treated like a crap and find other people that will treat me the way I wanted to be treated.

Have you watched this movie? If not yet, then do. If yes, love to hear your comments.

When I saw the trailer I thought it’s a typical teenage pregnancy movie. I watched it not because of curiosity or whatever but simply because I’m too exhausted from working this weekend and from my very active social life too so I just wanted to relax and watch a movie.

No it’s not typical, the movie has it’s turns that were not expected. Let me give you the background of the movie and the highlights that I really like:

Girl and boy were friends and out of boredome or curiosity they had sex and nope they weren’t together. It’s more of like friends with benefits but they’ve only done it once.

Girl got pregnant and considered abortion. She went to the clinic and chicken out. Next alternative was to look for parents that will adopt the child.

Girl found perfect couple and decided to meet with them and adoption has been set.

Highlights:
1. All through out the entire film it was the girl who thought about how she’s going through the pregnancy thing. I was awed by her maturity and how cool she handled it. From buying the pregnancy test till delivering the baby. She was only 16 and without a boyfriend to actually share the responsibility.

I don’t think I can be as cool as her if something like this happen. I can’t accept that it’s only the girl who should bear responsibility. Not because the baby grows in the girl’s womb and not the guy that we should take full credit about the pregnancy thing. And what really upset me about this movie is that the guy was very passive about the whole thing.

2. At the end it wasn’t the girl that chicken out on the adoption process but one of the parents to be.
It only proves that not everybody expects the same thing out of the same relationship. The wife was so ready to become a mother that she forgot to ask the husband if he was ready.

3. The couple was perfect. They were both gorgeous and successful. They even look perfect together but after 5 years of marriage they divorced. Things that were important for him were garbage for her. He wasn’t allowed to be himself because the wife painted a different picture of him already and their marriage.

Moral of the story:
1. Oh please use condom and or pills and or morning after pills OR DO NOT HAVE SEX AT ALL
2. Never underestimate your partner’s aspirations regardless of how stupid they seem to be.
If something is important for him/her then you should treat it as something important to you too. You would expect the same thing from your partner anyway.
3. Our garbage can be somebody else’s blessing - need i say more?
4. Unknowingly when we actually fall in love we put the other person’s need before ours. If it’s not the case then you should reevaluate your relationship.

It was a simple but a meaty film. I recommend you watch it and learn from it.

An open letter for that one person that makes my heart skip a beat…

Who could have thought we will last this long my dear. A relationship that started from nothing but look how far we’ve been. 6 years and it seems like we’ve just started recently, one reason that our relationship lasted (aside from me being perfect) is because you held tight to what we have. You never gave up on us when I was already giving up and for that I will always be thankful.

I can’t imagine how it will be like without you, promise me you will always be there as you’ve always been. I love you my darling, mahal ko, my precious, my tokno, my labs, my archie… I will remain true to our promise and I shall return someday to finally to be with you. I never stopped missing you and I will never get used to not being with you.

I love you so much and I miss you so badly.