Archive for October, 2006

Sweet Messages

Wednesday, October 18th, 2006

My globe line is full of messages already all from archie. I cannot store more than 125 messages. I have new messages coming in and I will post it here because I can’t keep it in my mobile anymore.

Message #1: Hindi tayo magbabago ha, mamahalin natin ang isa’t isa forever ha.
Message #2: I was sitting at the stairs while trying to recall when and how did our relationship started. I’m trying to recall the first time i saw you - wala lang. The first time we talked - wla din lang. I always hear your name from common friends - wala pa din. You were just an ordinary person but one early morning i saw you in my my working area - that’s the time i started thinking about you. I don’t know why, was it because of curiosity? That simple girl started to occupy my mind. I ignore the thought of liking you for more than a month but what i can do i really can’t stop thinking about you. And then I realized why do I have to fight the feeling…. I wanted to call you and I thought about it for a few nights. I called you and i texted you but you keep ignoring me =( and then after a few weeks, i received a message from you… you said hi and hello.
Message#3: Bawat sandali ng aking buhay pagmamahal mo ang aking taglay. San man mapadpad ang hangin hindi magbabago aking pagtining, PANGAKO NATIN SA MAY KAPAL na tayo lamang habambuhay maghintay. IPAGLALABAN ko ang ating pag-ibig, maghintay ka lamang ako’y darating pagkat sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso lahat ay gagawin MAKITA KANG MULI. Mahal na mahal kita san ka man pumunta mahal bumalik ka sa akin ha at hinde ako magsasawang maghintay, ikaw lang at ako HABAMBUHAY.
Message#4: Hi mahal ko, kakaload ko lang ahal ko. HAPPY =) goin to 5 years? wow!!! kahit malayo tayo sa isa’t isa mahal na mahal pa din kita at kahit ano pang mangyari hinde magbabago pagtingin ko syo, ikaw at ikaw pa din ang prinsesa ko at habang buhay pa din kitang  aalagaan at mamahalin. thank you for coming. U made my life complete.
Message#6: I remember so well the day that you came into my life…
Message#y7: You had the most beautiful smile. I miss my bhabie so much =(
Message#y8: I’m crazy missing you.
Message#y9: Princess I love you so much.
Message#y10: Mahal na mahal kita bhie… nalulungkot ako. kahit hinde mo sabihin na hintayin kita, habambuhay kitang mamahalin. alam mo kung gaano katatag pagmamahal ko sayo kahit madalas nasasaktan ako dahil malayo ka sa akin. sa kabila nun hinde pa din ako nawawalan ng pag asa na darating ang araw na makikita at magkakasama pa din tayo.
Message#y11: Napakalayo mo sa tabi ko at kahit anong gawin ko para makita ka wala din nangyayari. Iba’t ibang tao mga nakakasamo mo dyan, wala din kasiguruhan ang paguwi mo pero kahit kailan, kahit ilang taon, kahit magbago ka, NANDITO PA DIN AKO AT HINDI MAGSASAWANG MAGHINTAY SYO dahil alam ko sa kabila ng pagtitiis na tio darating ang araw na magkakasama din tayo.
Message#y12: Bhabie I love you so much. Can you stay in our relationship forever?
Message#y13: Sana ikay muling makita ko, damhin ang tibok ng puso mo. Sana mayakap kang muli kahit sandali, kahit isang saglit MAYAKAP KA!
Message#y14:  i love you with all my heart and mind.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

On my way to Rome

Monday, October 9th, 2006

I should be very excited right now coz not in my wildest dream that I ever thought that I will enter the city of Rome but to be honest a part of me is not…

I don’t want to leave right now. I want to stay in GVA and then go to Rome next week. My good friend Meena is leaving this Saturday to go home to India. I wanted to spend this week with her because I know it will not be the same when she goes home. It seems like I’m leaving Manila again. The emptiness is starting to crawl in and the tears are starting to drop again…

We’ve only been friends for more than a month but she really made life in GVA so different. It was fun, so much fun to always have a friend around and the fact that we both leave here alone made really a big difference. I know she doesn’t want to go back yet but contract ends and family is waiting…

So with a heavy heart I packed my things and prepared my passport, permit and ticket and everything that I will be needing for Rome. I don’t want to miss this great adventure ahead of me but I know it will be very hard to really enjoy it.

So Rome with a heavy heart here I come….

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

The art of letting go…

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006
The art of letting go….
It was Sunday morning. After a terrible Saturday I have to wake up early to pack my things and move out of my studio. As I was trying to pack everything that I have accumulated for the past 4 months I can’t imagine I have bought so many things already. Before I left I had one last look at my old studio. I can’t imagine how fast time flies, I can’t believe I’ve already been here for four months.

I always have trouble in parting. Most of the time I don’t want to let go. It may be a thing, a memory, a relationship or even a job. Being away from home taught me the important lesson of the art of letting go.

I’m on a crossroad right now. At the end of this month I will find out if I’m going to stay for good or leave for good. The part of me who is missing home so much badly wants to go back and reclaim all that was mine and start from where I left off. The part of me who wants to be here badly wants to stay. Being alone and trying to be happy with it is something that I want to master.

I have no idea what will happen but it’s all beyond me now. I have no idea what’s going on but I couldn’t care less. I have to let go and just believe that everything will happen for my best interest.
Leaving the studio that I had for the last four months also felt so bad. That place witnessed my pain and sorrow as I was trying to cope up of being far away. That place also witnessed my laughter as I call home. That place also witnessed the transition in me when I started feeling comfortable that I’m actually alone and it also witnessed the new friendships that were starting bloom. The studio became my home, my refuge and my haven but I have to let go. With a heavy heart I closed the door but the details of that studio and all it’s memories will remain.

And soon I also have to let go of a new friendship that bloomed so nicely. It was like I was back with my old girlfriends… Talking endlessly on the phone, sharing some secrets, dreaming of a vacation and talking about everything and anything even until wee hours but as I’ve said we have to learn the art of letting go…

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

About life ….

Monday, October 2nd, 2006
inspired by small talks that i had with two really nice guys about life.
right now i’m currently not doing anything at all. i finished my assignment earlier than expected and i’m waiting for a new project to start that will require my undivided attention so i want to spend my free time now to actually laze around.
i was making a lot of thinking lately. being far from home also has it’s advantage which is you can actually analyze your life as if you are a third party looking at it objectively. it has not been easy for me to be away from home, this is the first time in my life that i’ve been away this long and there are ups and downs but i want to focus on the ups or else i don’t think i will ever survive here.
i’m 27 and looking back i think i’ve made good decisions in life in terms of career and life itself. there were a few roadblocks but those made me appreciate life a little more. i consider myself blessed for the strong values and character instilled to me by parents and siblings and also to meet so many great people that also helped to shape my personality. the reason why i’m talking like this is because during the events of get together and dinners i had the chance to talk to two people that i really admire for knowing what they want and knowing when they want it. it’s quite special for me because people at my age will usually have a hard time to pinpoint what they want from life.
person#1 - He is married with one kid. At age 26 he got married to a lovely girl who was 24 at that time. the minute he saw her he know she was the one and at 3 months time they got married. it’s a very usual scenario from the country where they came from but they are special for me because they actually fell in love. he was ready and she was ready for the next stage of the relationship and i think that’s what matters. right now they are starting to have a lovely family.
what i learned from this family - i love my work but i’m not in love with it. yes i will give everything and anything to make my career boom as much as possible and i really do enjoy my work but if time comes that i need to give up this because of somebody i love then i know i will be very happy to do it when the time is right.
this guy also questioned me why do you fear marriage so much or what will be the difference after getting married? he made me rethink things… Yes there’s actually no difference at all but perhaps it wasn’t just time for me yet.
person#2 - he is single with a girlfriend waiting back home. at age 27 he met a girl in a very unusual scenario. faith lead them to each other and faith brought them closer as well. now they are physically separated but no distance can separate them. they’ve started really talking sometime in april 2006 and after a few months he is actually going to marry her in march of 2007, that was a wow for me but just like the first person he found his perfect match and why wait if you can actually start your forever together already.
this guy questioned my love to the special person in my life. i totally disagree. not being ready to take another step in the relationship is not because you don’t love the person it’s just that it’s not yet time. as long as both of you understand that then i don’t think there will be a problem but during our conversation he made a very valid point. i have this friend they’ve been together for so many years and as she pops the question about marriage he will actually either change the topic or give alibis. and person#2 said he doesn’t love her….. i didn’t tell him they actually broke up after a few months.
for my girl friends. most of us are waiting for that perfect day when somebody will actually propose to us to be part of a lifetime with a great guy. don’t hurry… he will come and do not in any way hurry up the process because not all guys are stupid some of them actually knows what they want and when they found it there’s really no stopping them. i know i’ve found mine a long time ago and i know you will find your perfect match as well.
have a great day…

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »